Coping with Betrayal in Our Relationships

I have been considering, for quite some time, what the topic of my next blog post would involve.  So many events have occurred over the past few months that I delayed my posts because I was so overwhelmed by the continual manifestation of unwanted occurrences in my life. I kept thinking, things are going to improve and by then I will have a much more comprehensive perspective.  Well, things did not get better.  In fact, circumstances turned for the worse and then they continued to deteriorate.  Why were these horrible events happening, I kept asking myself? What have I done to deserve such treatment?  Why is this happening?  Why me?

As my world crumbled, I continued to focus on what was most important at the time: finishing my first semester in graduate school at University of Houston (pursuing a graduate degree has been a long-revered goal of mine) and keeping my eyes open for career opportunities, as my career had taken a most definite reversal and had stalled.  Then, as luck would have it, a dark cloud seemed to hover over me and within less than a month, I had three back to back car accidents that significantly sidetracked my ability to earn income.  At this point, I was driving for ride-sharing platforms while simultaneously interviewing for positions in my field.  Without a car, I was unable to earn this secondary, temporary income.  And it happened in the blink of an eye. In the worst of circumstances, things seemed to become even more bleak.

I have been a student of new age spirituality for years and years, and I knew that from all spiritual lessons I had learned, these events were happening for a reason. But why now?  This is a time when my career should flourish and I should enjoy abundance and a wealth of opportunities. The fifties are often considered the most important time in life when careers are at their highest and we experience the very best in friendships, relationships, and key moments of self-actualization.  Unfortunately, for me, nothing seemed to work.  I was stuck.  Friendships that had long been the cornerstone of my emotional ecosystem of support were no longer there. Friends that I had turned to for years and years to get through the rough times were either emotionally or physically absent, unable to reach or stubbornly indifferent to my circumstances.  These experiences brought about a revelation on just how significantly friendships change over time and the dynamics that shift our interpersonal relationships.

For many of us, we choose to enter romantic relationships and marriage because we want and need emotional support.  Life is meant to be shared and it is not much fun to be alone.  So, whether we intend it or not, our secondary and tertiary relationships, outside of our partnership or marriage, take a back seat.  We are so focused on our romantic relationship, partnership, or marriage, that we no longer provide the support that we so often gave our “bestie” or best friend throughout the years. For someone, like myself, who is not currently involved in a romantic relationship or partnership/marriage, this lack of caring or emotional indifference is a slap in the face.  We all remember those times during college when we swore to always remember our best buddies and to be there during the rough times and even in some cases, we made promises never to forget or abandon our “best friend forever”. The song “The Promise” by the group “When in Rome” certainly comes to mind:  “If you need a friend, don’t look to a stranger, you know in the end, I’ll always be there….”

Unfortunately, time mars such an endeavor during middle age and perhaps even before then.  Changing dynamics within our lives and friendships mean that we shift our priorities.  Those of us who are single probably endure the most of many friendships where a one time “best friend” or “close friend” just checks out.  And the friend that checks out may not even be aware of it!  It just happens.  It’s a part of life. However, if one exercises even a semblance of emotional intelligence, it is obvious that our most revered friendships deserve care and attention, particularly when one is experiencing a life-threatening situation and is in dire need of support.  I find it difficult to understand how anyone could turn their backs on a dear friend when they need assistance during a crisis.  Such abandonment is most definitely a slap in the face and requires us to reevaluate and examine the place, if any, this relationship should have in our lives.

Middle-age is a time when we experience a multitude of changes.  Those who have children witness their bundles of joy head off to college, our careers often have extreme demands, and our partners/spouses also have their challenges to which we must attend.  Inevitably, this is a time when our parents need us the most.  When our parents age and we tend to their needs and concerns, or we witness the cruelty of old age and all the illness and despair that can often accompany such a grueling time of life, the experience has the effect of forever changing us, the caregivers.  We have witnessed the ravages of time, despair, and illness, and we are changed. Forever.  We are not the same. And this change in how we perceive the rest of our lives is very significant.  It is painfully understood just how preciously fragile our later years are and how eye-opening it is to prepare for those last chapters in our lives. We see ourselves in our parents.  In the next twenty years or less, the same challenges that aging has brought upon our parents will affect us.  And will we have the same level of support that was provided to our own parents?  Those of us without children wonder what will happen, should the time come, and of course it will, when we will need assistance just to get through the day. And this realization certainly changes our existing interactions within friendships and relationships.  While the opportunity to bounce back from an illness or a bout of depression in our twenties and thirties was easily realized, we suddenly experience an epiphany that in our fifties, time is short. There is not that much time left, and when the “life-clock” stares at us in the face, this realization alters our perceptions, our relationships are reevaluated, and we question how they fit within our lives. Are they contributing to our wellness and happiness or are they bogging us down, contributing to depression or a sense of despair? Therefore, it is logical that we remove these friendships from our lives or limit their influence on our happiness, given that our time on this life is short – there is only one attempt at this life and it is certainly not a dress rehearsal.  It is “opening night” every single day and we must make the best of it.

So, does this mean that we just arbitrarily begin to dump our friendships? I have never been a fan of “fair-weather” friendship.  I believe that true friendship involves being there for our friends during the bad times as well as the good. Those who have even a modicum of emotional intelligence will know that dumping relationships is not easy to do and it should never be done lightly.  Especially if there is a desire on one side to continue a friendship/relationship, we should give it a decent try and should not arbitrarily cut people off. Specifically, when a friend is in a dire situation, we should do our best to provide some level of support; perhaps they are fleeing domestic violence, their life is in danger, or perhaps they need not just an ear, but help transitioning or need a temporary place to live while they sort things out. So much for those drunken promises when we were younger, in college, or in our twenties.  Those promises are certainly broken when harsh realities surface – especially harsh realities as I have described.

Recent events in my life have brought me to the realization that I cannot rely upon familiar sources of support – either because of life’s design or through unfortunately stubborn individual choices.  The ecosystem of emotional support that one may have experienced in earlier decades is significantly altered or non-existent as time passes. Changing dynamics within relationships shift the support system and it is important to recognize and adapt to these patterns.  When a crisis occurs, this shift can seem like an earthquake, so it is better to recognize the signs as they occur and adapt as quickly and efficiently as possible.  Otherwise, the very events that you thought could never happen may quickly appear within your life and the associated daunting challenges may overwhelm you when your support system is no longer there. Throughout such a seemingly adversarial environment, it is even more important to tap into our inner divinity and find a closer relationship with ourselves and God. By remembering our spiritual essence and acting in accordance with the laws of the universe, we will take giant leaps forward and will flourish once again. We discover and develop our divine, spiritual essence as we cope with unbearable situations and make soul-based, spiritually-aligned decisions during critical circumstances.

At this point in my life, I am facing a new chapter, a new beginning. And now, more than ever before, I call upon spiritual principles to assist in coping with the numerous challenges that are occurring simultaneously.  When one experiences life-threatening or changing events, it is vital to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can assist in reaching out to resources to help solve such problems.  The second action is to find emotional support however you can, through forming new friendships, seeking new support groups, or reengaging existing friendships.  When we experience a crisis, we must seek support, and often during these difficult situations, the people that we have called on for emotional support in the past are not able or willing to help us, so we must seek out other sources.  We must continue to move through the process, to heal and to remedy the problems that have led us to such disastrous circumstances.  Throughout such a process, it is very important to stay connected to our sense of a higher power, the divine source that can lead us through the darkness to light, peace and understanding.

Multiple circumstances arise out of fear, misunderstanding and jealousy.  When we examine the bulk of problems between ourselves, family members and close friends, it can often be deduced that the source of contention is a lack of communication, a misunderstanding, or a long-held grievance rooted in ego-based jealousy. When we stare deeply in the face of danger and reckon with our own mortality, a new awareness arises from such a crisis.  When we realize that danger exists in our lives, we must seek light and guidance from God.  It most definitely signals the need for a shift in consciousness that affirms: “I will not become a victim.  I deserve to live my life without fear, without the fear of losing my life.  I belong in this world and you will not take it from me.  You can threaten and bully, but you will not take away my spirit, for it is eternal.”

That shift in consciousness requires a great deal of soul-searching, meditation, and a commitment to see beyond the current situation to its resolution.  It means that we are most likely forever changed by such dangerous circumstances, but we must move forward, toward light and understanding, and with the sincere desire for peace, unity, and communion with God and spiritual principles. Every action has a reaction, and we are certain to experience karma through every decision that we make. The universe has a unique way of correcting itself and it is important to be forever open to the infinite number of possibilities that God will send our way, but only if we are open to receiving his miraculous assistance. We must try, even with our busy lives and multiple responsibilities, to make decisions that take us closer to the divinity that resides within each of us. Decision-making in the converse takes us away from Spirit and sets off a chain of unwanted occurrences in our lives. With every decision that we make, let us ask ourselves if the action we are about to take places us closer or further away from Spirit.  We owe it to ourselves, families, loved-ones, and closely-held friendships to act with kindness and Godliness, even when our physical lives remind us of scarcity and limitation. And lastly, when our loved ones or friends reach out for help amid the most daunting of circumstances, we should open our eyes and hearts and do what we can to help. It may not be our direct responsibility, but it is the right thing to do. In fact, how we respond to a friend’s sincere request for assistance may make a world of difference and save his or her life.

When we act in accordance with the laws of the universe which demonstrate consistently that scarcity and limitation are not real, they are illusions from which we have the ability to conquer, then we are open to miraculous and divine intervention. When the realization dawns that we are not held back by self-imposed constraints or limitations, then a new world appears upon the horizon and we can truly become what we have always dreamed and desired. The universe leads us through a pathway to an enlightened version of ourselves:  The Higher Self that God always wanted us to manifest here on earth is suddenly tangible. A new World, a new Self, and a new Consciousness.  It is as if we awaken from a nightmarish dream and remember who we were at the very beginning of time: joyful, abundant spiritual beings with unlimited potential for love and the wonder of the universe. If we are open to his divine assistance, he leads us to that beautiful place within our lives where we can become a better version of ourselves by remembering that we are creations of love, light, abundance, and divinity instead of fear, limitation, mistrust, anger, jealousy or delusion. When we shift our perceptions from darkness to light, fear to love, and scarcity to abundance, divine intervention awakens us to a world of infinite new possibilities.

May the love, peace, light and understanding of God be with you now and forever.


Infinite Potential, Attracting Abundance, and Manifestation

Today, I am writing about one of the most central themes in my life as well as in the lives of many other soul-searchers seeking fulfillment and self-actualization. How do I attract abundance in a world that seems to indicate scarcity and competition rather than infinite potential and abundance?  We learn and  experience at a very early age that resources are scarce; we must fight for every single morsel available to us.  We learn that life is a struggle. Many times individuals work diligently, yet they find it difficult to get ahead and to achieve their dreams. It is very frustrating that this cycle of attracting abundance but then returning to a state of scarcity occurs repeatedly.  I truly believe that when there are recurring patterns in our lives, within the fabric of these interwoven tapestries exists many pertinent clues to the work we are meant to undertake in order to self-actualize. In this process, we come to terms with the most pressing concerns leading to our soul’s development. After all, we are here to consciously co-create; in fact, every minute, every breath, we are becoming more and more conscious of the divinity and unlimited potential within us.

The Fear of Not Attracting Money in Our Lives

For many of us, our fears come into play when we think about attaining money, attracting abundance, and achieving a sense of fulfillment.  After all, everyone wants to have the admiration and respect of their families, friends, peers and colleagues.  Yet, many times, a recurring pattern of scarcity consciousness gets in the way. We cannot seem to earn exactly the amount of money we want, buy that perfect house, have enough money in the bank, have the “right” friends, experiences and so on. All of this is based on a mindset of fear and scarcity rather than on prosperity.  So, it is entirely uplifting and somewhat of a revelation when we actually reverse thought patterns of insufficiency and attune our core beliefs into a pattern of plenitude. If we think and operate not from fear but from a positive mindset, we realize  that there is actually enough for everyone if we co-create with one another harmoniously.  Now, in everyday life, it is very easy for our ego to get in the way. Our society thrives on competition, and there is certainly nothing wrong with healthy, vibrant competition to drive us to succeed and to help us visualize our goals.  The problem occurs when, in acting out of balance, we disregard basic values in the quest to out-perform others in order to achieve recognition.  Now, there’s nothing wrong with recognition and achievement, but if we get to a place of achievement at the expense of others, then we are not acting in alignment with a soul-based awareness.  Instead, we are acting out of our own selfish, ego-based desires.  When we place too much importance on attaining monetary gain by acting recklessly towards others, we actually create scarcity within our souls and lives rather than abundance. In the process, sooner or later, we will reach a crucial moment in our evolutionary state of being where we look in the mirror to ask “What have I become? Who am I? Where am I headed?  Am I on the right path?  Have I acted with the most compassion, love, selflessness and forgiveness?  And do I truly believe that I can attract what I want in my life?”

The Many Forms of Abundance and Prosperity

The truth of the matter is that there are many forms of abundance:  abundance of the spirit, health, mind and in sharing our unique gifts to the world.  If we consistently focus on monetary wealth at the expense of our physical and mental health, then we are acting out of balance and will return to a state of scarcity consciousness without even being aware of the process.   We have the infinite power to create the lives that we want by consistently honoring the infinite potential within each and every one of us.  Prosperity appears in our lives in so many different ways – many times, it is not exactly apparent, or perhaps we do not value the form in which it appears.  For example, can I take the time to truly see what is happening around me?  How do I react?  Am I so consumed by the idea of “getting ahead” that I trample upon the lives and hearts of others? If I react with bitterness, hatred, a lack of compassion, then certainly the same negativity will be reflected back to me since we are all mirrors to one another,  and I will feel and experience the same amount of hatred that I have sent out to my immediate environment and the universe.  If, instead, I choose to act with compassion, love, forgiveness and understanding, then all of these attributes will reflect back to me.  Herein lies the power of the Law of Attraction.

The Visionary Perspective of Abundance vs. Soul-Impoverished Imbalance

So, one might ask – how do I continually attract abundance in my life?  After all, there’s only so much that can go around, right?  And since there are scarce resources, shouldn’t I keep my knowledge of resources to myself, and align with only the few people I trust, and then to heck with the rest?  And, in fact, the person right next to me, who I really don’t care for anyway, why don’t I just do whatever I can to make that person’s life miserable so that they give up, and then I can receive what could have been theirs.  I will tell you, with many years of experience that I have had in the corporate arena, this is the most typical mindset.  And it is a dangerous one.  It does not promote cooperation or collaboration.  It promotes unhealthy competition.  And it produces fear and mistrust instead of harmony.  It is toxic.  Individuals do not trust one another so they seek to out-perform each other in order to earn recognition and respect. When individuals act out of balance in a corporation by thwarting the lives of others in order to achieve their own personal gain, they may achieve monetary wealth but their souls are impoverished.  This kind of behavior creates an atmosphere of scarcity, mistrust and deception.  It does not further anyone’s soul-based development nor does it help the overall organization to become visionary.  When a business has employees that are healthy, well-balanced in all areas of their lives, then they produce much more efficiently.  The business thrives and grows because their employees are able to utilize their soul-based gifts to their ultimate potential.  When leaders develop their employees, then the entire organization benefits from increased productivity, since their employees can concentrate on creating the very best products and services, gaining new clients, increasing customer satisfaction, and realizing improved profits.  A visionary business develops employees by allowing them to utilize their unique gifts in order to advance the company’s goals.  In every move that we make within our work and personal environments we should ask ourselves the question,  what is best for the good of all concerned?  When we operate from this perspective, we no longer operate from the field of scarcity but from the visionary perspective of abundance.

An Unwavering Belief System in Authentic Power Provides the Ability to Persevere During the Harshest of Circumstances

I have noticed that when I meditate and focus on sincere gratitude, notwithstanding my own personal financial situation, then I feel a sense of abundance that is incredibly empowering.  My task is to continually believe in the authentic power of abundance consciousness, not to be afraid of success, not to be afraid of attracting the very things that I want so deeply. For when we accept that we are authentically powerful spiritual beings experiencing this life of seemingly persistent limitations, then we can truly understand and grasp the lessons that we are meant to learn in attempting to overcome these obstacles. I might ask myself, why do I continually return to that scarcity thought process when I know that the universe is plentiful?  I don’t have the firm answers yet.  I am still seeking and searching, very much hopeful that I will find the answers.  The answers are in my heart. I know, with the deepest of assurance, that I have the infinite ability to arrive at them as long as I act with soul-based awareness and harmony.  I must listen to my intuition in order to come to terms with why that perception of scarcity is there.  What lessons do I learn about myself when I experience that gut-wrenching feeling of emptiness?  How do I respond to that deepest, darkest experience of  spiritual hunger and thirst?  It is during this painful experience that I must realize that scarcity is an illusion, even when the physical world of experience seems to undoubtedly mirror that same scarcity. During these moments of self-reflection, I become aware of who I am, where my life leads next on this vast journey, and I am once again aware of the circumstances from which I will undoubtedly persevere and conquer in order to reach self-fulfillment, actualization, and soul-purpose. I must consistently listen to my higher guidance and inner voice to fully understand that any currently perceived setbacks are only temporary, and I, indeed, will persevere even under the harshest of circumstances.  I must realize that these hindrances are being manifested from an unconscious/subconscious state of being, and that becoming more aware of these emotional blocks are the key to overcoming the continual manifestation of events or circumstances that are not in alignment with my soul-purpose.

Healing our Mind, Body and Spirit from Self-Imposed Constraints 

Obstacles are only temporary manifestations of blocks that can be removed by carefully tuning in to the infinite power within us that is our birthright – but only if we claim this boundless energy and utilize it for our higher good and the good of those concerned.  When we realize that we possess this infinite potential, then we are free from self-imposed mental constraints and our desires seem to be fulfilled in a spontaneous manner.  When our dreams begin to manifest, it is an enlightening, inspiring and wondrous experience. We all have the ability to lead inspiring lives that send out our innermost light which is actually the energy of the universe pouring through our physical selves and into our immediate environment and then throughout the world. It is so very apparent when we are in the presence of someone with authenticity. Perhaps it is a trusted spiritual adviser or a visionary business leader. We are inspired by their actions and words and we feel the power of their authentic energy. Their energy actually increases the positive mindset of individuals within their immediate environment because their inner authenticity is so powerful. We become inspired by their lessons, wisdom and the outpouring of positive energy they possess and it inspires us to mirror that same positive mindset.  Therefore, by elevating the energetic field of pure potentiality within our immediate environment, we actually raise the vibrational frequency within our own lives, friendships, relationships and communities and this positive energy has the effect of permeating through the rest of the world to like-minded individuals.  We change the world by changing ourselves.

Reclaiming our Faith Helps us to Reach our Fullest Potential

In order to effect change within our daily lives, we must begin with ourselves. Transitioning from a state of scarcity to prosperity begins with the empowerment of our own lives by integrating the disowned aspects of our selves and emerging from this integration as a complete human being, more fully enlightened and in touch with our Higher Selves, unwavering in our belief that we will overcome even the most daunting of circumstances.  When we have integrated the disowned selves, healing all the negative energy that has caused blocks within our lives, then we heal the disenfranchised aspects of ourselves that we have buried within our subconscious in order to dissociate from the pain of traumatic experiences.  Healing these disowned aspects of ourselves is the most difficult work to undertake, but it is an extremely enlightening process since we are able to come to terms with the core issues in our lives that are preventing us from a sense of completeness and peacefulness. Forgiveness is a major component of healing the energy blocks within our subconscious belief system. When we are no longer bogged down emotionally from fragments of the past, then we can achieve a current state of peacefulness and enlightenment. Then we are finally willing and able to accept the gifts of the universe because we become fully aware of the plenitude that exists within our lives.  We are no longer soul-impoverished but filled with Light and positive energy because we have healed from the issues, circumstances and hindrances that have kept us from achieving our Higher Selves. In the process of striving to reach our fullest potential, we reclaim our faith in the Universe – firmly believing that with love, patience, compassion and understanding we are in alignment with our soul-based purpose in this lifetime. When we act in accordance with these universal principles, we become fully aware of the infinite joy and inspiration that are completely within reach during our life’s journey, where we not only strive to integrate aspects of our inner divisions but also our physical-spiritual selves. Our journey on this plane is to remember who we once were at the very beginning of our existence, before we were physical beings in this world of limitation. We were joyful, abundant, spiritual creations who were fully in touch with our unlimited potential. Our soul-based path leads us to remember who we once were so we can return to that divine place once again when we awaken from this illusory world. That dynamic shift in awareness, when it occurs, will transform our thinking so that we  will remember light instead of darkness, love instead of fear, and joyful abundance instead of illusive limitation.

We are a Mirror to Each Other

I wholeheartedly believe that consistently practicing meditation on attracting  and maintaining abundance as our natural state will help us manifest the life of our dreams. If you wish to experience something wonderful in your life, put the patterns and resources in place to allow others to receive that very same thing.  You will find that it reflects back to you, and you will experience that same wealth consciousness and abundance many times over.

Everyone can Achieve their Innermost Desires and Dreams

May everyone achieve their dreams through consciously attuning to a natural state of wealth-consciousness and abundance!