Healing from the Past

To heal from the past, we must correct the errors in perception that prevent us from forgiving those who have harmed us. In relinquishing anger, fear, and hatred and completely forgiving past errors, we free our lives and hearts from experiencing emotional devastation and we can live fully in the present open to unlimited love. This is a path towards a renewed and transformed sense of Self that takes us closer to God and our true, Higher Self. Correcting errors of perception such as anger, fear, jealousy, and the need for retribution heals the disenfranchised aspects of ourselves that have long searched and yearned for clarity and atonement. The mental process of dissociation slips us further away from the all encompassing nature of God’s love and we develop a false sense of security – further emboldening the nightmarish dream rather than awakening from its terror and stronghold on our emotional and mental well being. In the process of trying to escape or avoid emotional danger, we actually create more negative disowned energy by psychically dividing aspects of ourselves and furthering the split between our personality and Spirit.  We should, instead, pray for healing and integration and infuse our shadow selves with rehabilitative energy and careful, spiritual nourishment. This consistent and repetitive nature of denying the present by emboldening egoistic divisions within our psyche takes us further away rather than closer to the spiritual realm. Our task is to remember Spirit’s unlimited ability to heal all atrocities rather than creating more perceptual errors which obscure our spiritual sight. Any act that is not of love is counter to the world of Spirit and is an illusion, further reminding us that our task on earth is to heal and awaken from this dimension’s obsessive identification with the physical and its associated anguish.


Coping with Betrayal in Our Relationships

I have been considering, for quite some time, what the topic of my next blog post would involve.  So many events have occurred over the past few months that I delayed my posts because I was so overwhelmed by the continual manifestation of unwanted occurrences in my life. I kept thinking, things are going to improve and by then I will have a much more comprehensive perspective.  Well, things did not get better.  In fact, circumstances turned for the worse and then they continued to deteriorate.  Why were these horrible events happening, I kept asking myself? What have I done to deserve such treatment?  Why is this happening?  Why me?

As my world crumbled, I continued to focus on what was most important at the time: finishing my first semester in graduate school at University of Houston (pursuing a graduate degree has been a long-revered goal of mine) and keeping my eyes open for career opportunities, as my career had taken a most definite reversal and had stalled.  Then, as luck would have it, a dark cloud seemed to hover over me and within less than a month, I had three back to back car accidents that significantly sidetracked my ability to earn income.  At this point, I was driving for ride-sharing platforms while simultaneously interviewing for positions in my field.  Without a car, I was unable to earn this secondary, temporary income.  And it happened in the blink of an eye. In the worst of circumstances, things seemed to become even more bleak.

I have been a student of new age spirituality for years and years, and I knew that from all spiritual lessons I had learned, these events were happening for a reason. But why now?  This is a time when my career should flourish and I should enjoy abundance and a wealth of opportunities. The fifties are often considered the most important time in life when careers are at their highest and we experience the very best in friendships, relationships, and key moments of self-actualization.  Unfortunately, for me, nothing seemed to work.  I was stuck.  Friendships that had long been the cornerstone of my emotional ecosystem of support were no longer there. Friends that I had turned to for years and years to get through the rough times were either emotionally or physically absent, unable to reach or stubbornly indifferent to my circumstances.  These experiences brought about a revelation on just how significantly friendships change over time and the dynamics that shift our interpersonal relationships.

For many of us, we choose to enter romantic relationships and marriage because we want and need emotional support.  Life is meant to be shared and it is not much fun to be alone.  So, whether we intend it or not, our secondary and tertiary relationships, outside of our partnership or marriage, take a back seat.  We are so focused on our romantic relationship, partnership, or marriage, that we no longer provide the support that we so often gave our “bestie” or best friend throughout the years. For someone, like myself, who is not currently involved in a romantic relationship or partnership/marriage, this lack of caring or emotional indifference is a slap in the face.  We all remember those times during college when we swore to always remember our best buddies and to be there during the rough times and even in some cases, we made promises never to forget or abandon our “best friend forever”. The song “The Promise” by the group “When in Rome” certainly comes to mind:  “If you need a friend, don’t look to a stranger, you know in the end, I’ll always be there….”

Unfortunately, time mars such an endeavor during middle age and perhaps even before then.  Changing dynamics within our lives and friendships mean that we shift our priorities.  Those of us who are single probably endure the most of many friendships where a one time “best friend” or “close friend” just checks out.  And the friend that checks out may not even be aware of it!  It just happens.  It’s a part of life. However, if one exercises even a semblance of emotional intelligence, it is obvious that our most revered friendships deserve care and attention, particularly when one is experiencing a life-threatening situation and is in dire need of support.  I find it difficult to understand how anyone could turn their backs on a dear friend when they need assistance during a crisis.  Such abandonment is most definitely a slap in the face and requires us to reevaluate and examine the place, if any, this relationship should have in our lives.

Middle-age is a time when we experience a multitude of changes.  Those who have children witness their bundles of joy head off to college, our careers often have extreme demands, and our partners/spouses also have their challenges to which we must attend.  Inevitably, this is a time when our parents need us the most.  When our parents age and we tend to their needs and concerns, or we witness the cruelty of old age and all the illness and despair that can often accompany such a grueling time of life, the experience has the effect of forever changing us, the caregivers.  We have witnessed the ravages of time, despair, and illness, and we are changed. Forever.  We are not the same. And this change in how we perceive the rest of our lives is very significant.  It is painfully understood just how preciously fragile our later years are and how eye-opening it is to prepare for those last chapters in our lives. We see ourselves in our parents.  In the next twenty years or less, the same challenges that aging has brought upon our parents will affect us.  And will we have the same level of support that was provided to our own parents?  Those of us without children wonder what will happen, should the time come, and of course it will, when we will need assistance just to get through the day. And this realization certainly changes our existing interactions within friendships and relationships.  While the opportunity to bounce back from an illness or a bout of depression in our twenties and thirties was easily realized, we suddenly experience an epiphany that in our fifties, time is short. There is not that much time left, and when the “life-clock” stares at us in the face, this realization alters our perceptions, our relationships are reevaluated, and we question how they fit within our lives. Are they contributing to our wellness and happiness or are they bogging us down, contributing to depression or a sense of despair? Therefore, it is logical that we remove these friendships from our lives or limit their influence on our happiness, given that our time on this life is short – there is only one attempt at this life and it is certainly not a dress rehearsal.  It is “opening night” every single day and we must make the best of it.

So, does this mean that we just arbitrarily begin to dump our friendships? I have never been a fan of “fair-weather” friendship.  I believe that true friendship involves being there for our friends during the bad times as well as the good. Those who have even a modicum of emotional intelligence will know that dumping relationships is not easy to do and it should never be done lightly.  Especially if there is a desire on one side to continue a friendship/relationship, we should give it a decent try and should not arbitrarily cut people off. Specifically, when a friend is in a dire situation, we should do our best to provide some level of support; perhaps they are fleeing domestic violence, their life is in danger, or perhaps they need not just an ear, but help transitioning or need a temporary place to live while they sort things out. So much for those drunken promises when we were younger, in college, or in our twenties.  Those promises are certainly broken when harsh realities surface – especially harsh realities as I have described.

Recent events in my life have brought me to the realization that I cannot rely upon familiar sources of support – either because of life’s design or through unfortunately stubborn individual choices.  The ecosystem of emotional support that one may have experienced in earlier decades is significantly altered or non-existent as time passes. Changing dynamics within relationships shift the support system and it is important to recognize and adapt to these patterns.  When a crisis occurs, this shift can seem like an earthquake, so it is better to recognize the signs as they occur and adapt as quickly and efficiently as possible.  Otherwise, the very events that you thought could never happen may quickly appear within your life and the associated daunting challenges may overwhelm you when your support system is no longer there. Throughout such a seemingly adversarial environment, it is even more important to tap into our inner divinity and find a closer relationship with ourselves and God. By remembering our spiritual essence and acting in accordance with the laws of the universe, we will take giant leaps forward and will flourish once again. We discover and develop our divine, spiritual essence as we cope with unbearable situations and make soul-based, spiritually-aligned decisions during critical circumstances.

At this point in my life, I am facing a new chapter, a new beginning. And now, more than ever before, I call upon spiritual principles to assist in coping with the numerous challenges that are occurring simultaneously.  When one experiences life-threatening or changing events, it is vital to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can assist in reaching out to resources to help solve such problems.  The second action is to find emotional support however you can, through forming new friendships, seeking new support groups, or reengaging existing friendships.  When we experience a crisis, we must seek support, and often during these difficult situations, the people that we have called on for emotional support in the past are not able or willing to help us, so we must seek out other sources.  We must continue to move through the process, to heal and to remedy the problems that have led us to such disastrous circumstances.  Throughout such a process, it is very important to stay connected to our sense of a higher power, the divine source that can lead us through the darkness to light, peace and understanding.

Multiple circumstances arise out of fear, misunderstanding and jealousy.  When we examine the bulk of problems between ourselves, family members and close friends, it can often be deduced that the source of contention is a lack of communication, a misunderstanding, or a long-held grievance rooted in ego-based jealousy. When we stare deeply in the face of danger and reckon with our own mortality, a new awareness arises from such a crisis.  When we realize that danger exists in our lives, we must seek light and guidance from God.  It most definitely signals the need for a shift in consciousness that affirms: “I will not become a victim.  I deserve to live my life without fear, without the fear of losing my life.  I belong in this world and you will not take it from me.  You can threaten and bully, but you will not take away my spirit, for it is eternal.”

That shift in consciousness requires a great deal of soul-searching, meditation, and a commitment to see beyond the current situation to its resolution.  It means that we are most likely forever changed by such dangerous circumstances, but we must move forward, toward light and understanding, and with the sincere desire for peace, unity, and communion with God and spiritual principles. Every action has a reaction, and we are certain to experience karma through every decision that we make. The universe has a unique way of correcting itself and it is important to be forever open to the infinite number of possibilities that God will send our way, but only if we are open to receiving his miraculous assistance. We must try, even with our busy lives and multiple responsibilities, to make decisions that take us closer to the divinity that resides within each of us. Decision-making in the converse takes us away from Spirit and sets off a chain of unwanted occurrences in our lives. With every decision that we make, let us ask ourselves if the action we are about to take places us closer or further away from Spirit.  We owe it to ourselves, families, loved-ones, and closely-held friendships to act with kindness and Godliness, even when our physical lives remind us of scarcity and limitation. And lastly, when our loved ones or friends reach out for help amid the most daunting of circumstances, we should open our eyes and hearts and do what we can to help. It may not be our direct responsibility, but it is the right thing to do. In fact, how we respond to a friend’s sincere request for assistance may make a world of difference and save his or her life.

When we act in accordance with the laws of the universe which demonstrate consistently that scarcity and limitation are not real, they are illusions from which we have the ability to conquer, then we are open to miraculous and divine intervention. When the realization dawns that we are not held back by self-imposed constraints or limitations, then a new world appears upon the horizon and we can truly become what we have always dreamed and desired. The universe leads us through a pathway to an enlightened version of ourselves:  The Higher Self that God always wanted us to manifest here on earth is suddenly tangible. A new World, a new Self, and a new Consciousness.  It is as if we awaken from a nightmarish dream and remember who we were at the very beginning of time: joyful, abundant spiritual beings with unlimited potential for love and the wonder of the universe. If we are open to his divine assistance, he leads us to that beautiful place within our lives where we can become a better version of ourselves by remembering that we are creations of love, light, abundance, and divinity instead of fear, limitation, mistrust, anger, jealousy or delusion. When we shift our perceptions from darkness to light, fear to love, and scarcity to abundance, divine intervention awakens us to a world of infinite new possibilities.

May the love, peace, light and understanding of God be with you now and forever.

The Quest for Spiritual Awareness

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I’ve been reading a great deal lately. Since I moved from my townhouse and into my apartment, I have become much more introspective.  As I unpacked many of the books that I had in boxes, I realized how “out of touch” I was with many of the spiritual and personal development ideas and techniques I had learned in the past.  So, I have been reading new books as well as reexamining works that have inspired me and from which I have learned authentically powerful and transformational concepts.  I have been particularly influenced by several authors whose works include perceptual frameworks surrounding human potential, the Collective Unconscious, the power of the God and the Universe and the big questions about our existence on this plane and our soul-based evolutionary path.  When I recently went to LA this August, I attended a live seminar on overcoming depression by Marianne Williamson.  Widely regarded as one of the foremost influential writers of this generation, her books have sold millions and have introduced countless individuals to the principles within New Age Spirituality and A Course in Miracles.  I thoroughly enjoyed her seminar and began reading her latest book Tears to Triumph on recovering from depression through spiritual rather than pharmaceutical methods.  Her first book, A Return to Love, Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles is a New Age classic.  Her writing and ideas are highly inspirational, and her grasp on the principles within A Course in Miracles is very enlightening.  I was first introduced to the Course back in the early nineties, but I found it very confusing and so I distanced myself from its teachings.  However, when I underwent therapy in the early to mid-2000’s, my therapist and spiritual counselor was very influenced by the Course, so the inherent concepts within its teachings became a vital component of my therapy, along with the principles discussed by many New Age authors such as Shakti Gawain, Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra.  Although I resisted its teachings, I have found that I continually return to the Course’s principles and attempt to digest as much as possible without becoming fearsome of understanding every single aspect. Williamson’s grasp on the subject is enlightening and refreshing, and I find that I am understanding the course much better and it is influencing me greatly.  Much of what Williamson interprets and expresses concerning the Course is very pertinent to me right now so I am gladly learning new principles that tackle the very big questions about God, the Universe, and our existence in this realm. Williamson’s work as well as her reflections on A Course in Miracles remind us that fear is the opposite of love and it is an illusion meant to distract us from his Love which is all-empowering and all-encompassing. Our task on earth is to remember who we once were before we made the decision, a huge error in perception, to separate from God and become part of the earthly, physical plane. At the very beginning of our existence, before we were physical beings in this world of limitation, we were joyful, abundant, spiritual creations who were fully in touch with our unlimited potential. Our soul-based path leads us to remember who we once were. By correcting errors in perception and awakening from the nightmarish dream of this world, we return to our origin, which is a place where only love exists. According to the Course, nothing else exists; everything counter to love is an illusion meant to distract us from His all-encompassing nature. What is all-encompassing can have no opposite and is, therefore, an illusion. When I was first introduced to the Course nearly thirty years ago, before Williamson’s profound work  A Return to Love was published, I resisted this notion of an illusory world because I could not comprehend the magnitude of this conceptual framework to view our existence. Yet, as time has passed, I continually returned to the Course and its teachings as a source of meaning and fulfillment, and I can now honestly say that I understand the Course’s major component that we live in an illusive world, often in conditions and circumstances that are the opposite of love. God, with his all-encompassing nature, could not have created or envisioned a world full of bitterness, hatred, war, poverty or sickness. These facets of existence are errors in perception that man has created, not God. Once we fully accept this concept, well-knowing that while on earth it is our divine duty to learn and grow in Spirit, then we will eventually return to the Spiritual realm from which we have originated, where Love only exists. It has taken me a long time to understand this basic and most profound principle within A Course in Miracles, and thankfully we have a bright light in the Universe such as Williamson to help guide us along our pathway towards a more Enlightened and loving Universe.

Recently, I read “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsch, and I can tell you that it is really a fascinating book.  I also watched the movie.  Neale wrote “Conversations with God” in the early 90’s and he claims that God began speaking directly to him at one of the most adverse times in his life.  He was disabled from a horrible car accident, had lost his job, and became homeless, and tried desperately to return to work but with no luck.  It seems he just kept being beaten down.  Then, out of nowhere, he began hearing God’s voice and so, “Conversations with God” began. Surprisingly, this book makes a great deal of sense and it really resonates with me.  When it was first published, I scoffed at the idea that God could have an on-going conversation with someone.  I figured it was some writer’s “gimmick” to sell books.  Well, I am happy to report (after all these years) that my perception of this author has completely changed.  The book is highly inspirational and makes a great deal of sense.   And its influence is huge within the New Age/Spirituality movement.  So, I am enjoying and enthralled by this book and the lessons that I am learning and re-learning.  The most exciting idea that I am learning right now is that life is all about creating.  We were brought here to create and to reach self-actualization.  As we learn and co-create with God, we become closer to Him.  We “remember” who we are and become more “God-like” as we co-create.  Conversations with God emphasizes that we remember our divine nature by recognizing that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.  God has created us out of absolute, pure love, but with a sincere desire to experience this absolute divinity in physical, “experiential” form.  By experiencing this realm in the physical sense, we are different from God, but not separate.  The Holy Spirit connects our physical and spiritual selves with God.  While these are not new ideas, they are very powerful – and these concepts help us to realize our main purpose on earth:  to love, create, forgive and to express compassion.  The most important thing that Conversations with God expresses is the idea that we are self-actualizing each and every day we are on this planet and he provided us with free will.  Now, whether God spoke to Walsch is uncertain.  It is possible that Walsch was hearing his own inner guidance and intuition during a time of seemingly unbearable circumstances.  During this trying time of his life he was able to connect, at a very deep and sincere level, with his own divine nature and, as a result, we all benefit from this highly inspiring and thoughtful work on communicating with God and our Higher Self.

All of this is very inspiring, and it adds to the knowledge and beliefs that I had learned during several years of research into spiritual principles taught and espoused by Shakti Gawain, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and several others.  I was specifically influenced by Shakti’s Creative Visualization and Living in the Light along with Deepak Chopra’s Creating Affluence.  Wayne Dyer’s Power of Intention and Manifest Your Destiny were very instrumental in reshaping my ideas, recognizing destructive thought patterns, and understanding patterns that did not aid in my growth or self-actualization. These principles helped me to realize that I am in control of my destiny and that I do not have to be bound by useless dogmas which no longer serve my soul’s path.  We are, in fact, very much in control of our destiny if we listen to our higher selves and stay attuned to our divine nature.

Ideally, I would like to utilize this blog to discuss current topics and events and how spiritual principles can help guide individuals to make the right choices.  For the longest time, I have wanted to put my thoughts together and to write a book that will help those who have experienced similar circumstances and challenges. I hope this blog will be the beginning of that endeavor in that I finally have a platform to express my ideas.

There are numerous societal ills that we are facing within America: poverty, illness, homelessness, inadequate educational systems, income inequality, sexual exploitation and harassment, politics that do not serve constituents, misguided immigration reform, interference from foreign governments in our political process, a broken electoral college process, violence in schools, lack of mental health awareness and social policy,  and long-held racial tensions.  These man-made ills are part of the collective nightmare and hell in which we all reside because we have chosen fear and hatred instead of love, compassion and understanding.  Yet, through the application of spiritual principles, and a sincere focus on humanely solving these societal evils, we can move beyond them to resolution and freedom.  I am particularly concerned about the racial tensions that have occurred in many parts of the U.S. between civilians and law enforcement.  Horrific shooting incidents between law enforcement and civilians, especially within the Deep South,  have illuminated a blight upon our society that continues to exist.  I believe these perpetual tragic events indicate the nation has not healed on a collective level and individuals may be acting out their fears based on ancestral imprints from the Collective Unconscious that have not been appropriately addressed and spiritually cleared.  The Collective Unconscious involves archetypes and prototypes that we innately know by being born into a species. We may not be aware that we are acting out our fears based on these primordial ideas, archetypes, and prototypes.  Most spiritual cleansing involves examining not only our own personal conscious and unconscious beliefs but also universal, national, and ancestral imprints (archetypes and prototypes that have been handed down from generation to generation.)  My greatest hope is that we all recognize these destructive, primordial patterns will not work for us in the modern world, especially for those of us who want to create a livable and peaceful present and future. So many people say, “How can God create so much destruction?”  The answer is that it is not God who is creating this mess, people are!  If we do not collectively pray and envision personal and planetary transformation, our future is very much at risk.  It should be our calling to reexamine and re-think what we are currently doing in our everyday lives to manifest peaceful transformation by removing blocks to compassion, love, forgiveness, and unity.

The affirmation that I would like to share is that we should all envision a loving, peaceful place wherever we are in our lives.  It is the most important thing, yet it is the easiest to forget when we are caught in a nightmarish world full of illusion and fear.  My hope is that everyone can live to the fullest by developing their divine potential and dreams, without limitations and with boundless energy and enthusiasm!

With my sincerest love to all,

Michael J. Lovell